Drop The But

I listen to everyone include myself, and realized that we tend to use the word but several times a days.

You’ll use the word to invalidate what you just said, as in: You did a great job, but… Or you’ll use the word to defend your actions, as in: I would have done that, but…

To defend yourself, (young children can use the word but like more than 5 times days just for this case).

When they do something wrong, they always try to defend themselves using the word ''but''. And they use this word as much as they can, like they can excuse anything with it.

For example let take a conversation with a kids that break a vase, and let call this kids Bod: Bod did you drop the vase on the floor? ''Yes, but, but, but, but, but, but,......'' Bod would say and instantly absolve himself of any responsibility.

It never their fault.

He never wanted to said I'm sorry.

He just use the word ''But'' to put the responsibility on someone else.

We need to take responsibility for our actions and stop using the word but to defend yourself.

Let imagine now the same situation with two adult in a car accident. One will said : ''yes the light was red but you were driving so fast'' and the other ''yes but you were passing on the red light''.

Stop using but to defend yourself and just take responsibility for your actions and said instead: ''I'm sorry, I past on the red light.'' or ''I'm sorry also I was driving to fast.''

But are also use to invalidate what you just said

 

When people say the word "but" after a sentence it's very demeaning and it's almost as if they recognize your statement and then throw it aside just as quickly.

For example, adding but after praise makes the praise feel less significant.

"You did great in the recital but next time try to speed up your tempo"

In order to reinforce the positivity and effort I would instead say:

" You did great in the recital. How about we try to work on speeding up your tempo and see what happens?"

When one, "drops the but" they are actually taking the time to recognize and hear what someone is saying which in turn makes the other person feel good. Even if they don't agree with that person, "dropping the but" still makes the person feel as if they have been genuinely heard.

Drop the But

You can start using the word “and” because the word “but” nullifies what you just said. e.g. “I did ten things on my to-do list, but I didn’t do the remaining five things”. Instead you could say: “I did ten things and I have five more to go. ”

So the next time you find yourself saying “but” pull out your forefinger and thumb.

Reach for your check, and tighten into a pinch. It's will help remember to stop using the word ''BUT''.

It's one of the best way to make your life a life without BUT.