Fashion Feminism 1, “Good Girl” Insecurities 0

This is an old story about my adventures in learning how to dress and feel like a grown woman and not a perpetual child, not really related to the topic of this blog: dyslexia. And I wanted to share it.

I wore my lacy little crop top out today- a tee shirt that is literally just woven lace and nothing else, thus it’s see-through- because it’s 99° out here. No way am I wearing an actual shirt. But I struggle with feeling comfortable in my top not only for body image reasons, but for etiquette reasons as well. I feel cute, but at the same time I worry that older members of the community will be offended by the fact that you can see my skin and my black bandeau, it’s all on display. 

So I’m leaving my home to go see my Taita with some lemonade (because again, it is damn hot, and I wanna make little ice-cube lemonade pop in my mouth and I'm from Batroun) when I arrived my Taita a woman in her 60’s approaches and touches me on the shoulder. Did I drop something? Is my skirt up in the back? Is she going to scold me for showing my waist and letting my bra straps go uncovered?

And she smiles this big smile at me and says “Dear, that shirt is so cute!”

"Thank you!" I’m so relieved, "It was only five dollars, I think!"

"Well it’s lovely," she says, "don’t tell anyone that price! Pretend it cost more than it did!"

We talk and laugh. “Well,” I say, “It’s just too hot to wear anything more.”

"We should all walk around in bikinis," she says.

Made my damn day. :)

This is not my Taita just a pic like that

[Lebanon] Language Barriers Prevent Syrian Children from Attending School

"I want them to go to school, but it’s so far away. I can’t afford the cost of transport. It’s also difficult because here they speak French or English at school. My children won’t understand anything", explained Dima’s sister.


A critical problem facing Syrian children in Lebanon is that the education system uses French or English as the language of instruction, with Arabic only reserved for language courses and sometimes history lessons. Conversely, in Syria the education system is entirely in Arabic.


A rapid needs assessment carried out by the UN children’s fund in Lebanon (UNICEF) and Save the Children also cited language barriers as the principal obstacle for Syrians in Lebanon. The report found that most Syrians would like their children to learn either French or English as they see it as a “chance for upward mobility”.

In addition, the Lebanese education system is unable to cope with the influx of Syrians across the border. More than 160,000 Syrians are officially registered with the UN refugee agency (UNHCR) in Lebanon and a further 71,358 are awaiting registration. This number is increasing rapidly as up to 3,000 Syrians are crossing the borders daily to Lebanon, Turkey, Jordan and Iraq.

Lebanon in the top 10 country for the quality of is education

Lebanon have one of the best education systems in Math and Science in the World like The Economic Forum’s 2013 Global Information said so (here).

And when  Senior Fellow Hafez Ghanem in this new podcast about learning in the Arab world says : "That more than half of Arab children are not learning". 

We are one of the most educated country in the Middle East with 44% of University Graduated students.

This is something we must be proud about.

Fact about Dyslexia: You can be dyslexic in one language but not another

So it turns out you can be dyslexic in one language but not another, depending on the kind of linguistic processing problem you have. For example, if you have trouble with phonemes, if can be hard to learn alphabetic writing systems like English, but easier to learn logo-graphic writing systems like Chinese. China has dyslexic people obvs, but they seem to have different stuff going on in their brain than English dyslexic people. Huh.

Body Language Secrets Everyone Must Know

 

 

Drop The But

I listen to everyone include myself, and realized that we tend to use the word but several times a days.

You’ll use the word to invalidate what you just said, as in: You did a great job, but… Or you’ll use the word to defend your actions, as in: I would have done that, but…

To defend yourself, (young children can use the word but like more than 5 times days just for this case).

When they do something wrong, they always try to defend themselves using the word ''but''. And they use this word as much as they can, like they can excuse anything with it.

For example let take a conversation with a kids that break a vase, and let call this kids Bod: Bod did you drop the vase on the floor? ''Yes, but, but, but, but, but, but,......'' Bod would say and instantly absolve himself of any responsibility.

It never their fault.

He never wanted to said I'm sorry.

He just use the word ''But'' to put the responsibility on someone else.

We need to take responsibility for our actions and stop using the word but to defend yourself.

Let imagine now the same situation with two adult in a car accident. One will said : ''yes the light was red but you were driving so fast'' and the other ''yes but you were passing on the red light''.

Stop using but to defend yourself and just take responsibility for your actions and said instead: ''I'm sorry, I past on the red light.'' or ''I'm sorry also I was driving to fast.''

But are also use to invalidate what you just said

 

When people say the word "but" after a sentence it's very demeaning and it's almost as if they recognize your statement and then throw it aside just as quickly.

For example, adding but after praise makes the praise feel less significant.

"You did great in the recital but next time try to speed up your tempo"

In order to reinforce the positivity and effort I would instead say:

" You did great in the recital. How about we try to work on speeding up your tempo and see what happens?"

When one, "drops the but" they are actually taking the time to recognize and hear what someone is saying which in turn makes the other person feel good. Even if they don't agree with that person, "dropping the but" still makes the person feel as if they have been genuinely heard.

Drop the But

You can start using the word “and” because the word “but” nullifies what you just said. e.g. “I did ten things on my to-do list, but I didn’t do the remaining five things”. Instead you could say: “I did ten things and I have five more to go. ”

So the next time you find yourself saying “but” pull out your forefinger and thumb.

Reach for your check, and tighten into a pinch. It's will help remember to stop using the word ''BUT''.

It's one of the best way to make your life a life without BUT.

Stop George Clooney Mania

 

Myself as a feminist woman, I don't get this other women saying that they are proud of their nation because of the beauty of women. I don't want to be proud of my country because of the appearances of some women but because of the accomplishments of some strong personality. 

My country doesn't need people to see it has a country that not created great body, but great mind. I want people to be proud of my country because men and women like this :

1.Keanu Reeves: Actor, The Matrix, was born in Beirut, Lebanon in 1964.

2. Nadine Labaki: Actress, Producer, Writer 

3. Kahlil Gibran: writer, poet

4.Serj Tankian: System of a Down Lead Singer

5.Mika: Singer

6.Elie Saab: Fashion designer

7.Delphine Seyrig: Actress

8. Georgina Rizk: Miss Lebanon 1970/Miss Universe 1971

9. Salma Hayek : Actress, her father is the lebanese Sami Hayek, Ceo of the oil compagny and mayor of Coatzacoalcos.

10. Massari: singer

11. Shakira Isabel Mebarak Ripollo: Singer, Lebanese father William Mebarak

12. Gabriel Yared: Lebanese Composer, He won an Oscar and Grammy Award for his work on The English Patient (1996)

13. Elie Samaha: Film Producer in Los USA

14. Joseph Abboud : Fashion Designer

15. Fairouz: singer

16. Zuhair Murad : Fashion Designer

17. Carlos Slim Helu : He is currently the wealthiest person in world with a net worth around US$53.5 Billions.

18. Jacques Saadé : Businessman, owner of CMA CGM, the thirds largest container shipping company in the world.

19. Elissa : singer,  2 world music awards

20. Alfredo Harp Hélu : Net worth US$1.6 billion, businessman

21. Carlos Ghosn: Businessman, Ceo of Nissan, Ceo of Renaut

22. Nicolas Hayek : Mr.Swatch, Swatch Founder

23. Elie Mechantaf : International Basketball player

24. Elias James Khoury: Nobel Price in Chemistry

25. Sir Peter Brian Medawar: Nobel Price in Physiology (organ transplants)

27. Amin Maalouf : writer

28.Joumana Haddad:  poet, translator, journalist and women rights activist

Thank You A Proud Lebanese Women.

A Video Everyone Should See

When I see the facts like this I realize that the average human life is relatively short.

We know deep down that life is short, and that death will happen to all of us eventually, and yet we are infinitely surprised when it happens to someone we know. It’s like walking up a flight of stairs with a distracted mind, and misjudging the final step. You anticipated there to be one more stair than there is, and so you find yourself off balance for a moment, before your mind shifts back to the present moment and how the world really is.


I see many people being diagnosed with terminal cancer. When they know that they start doing thing without being afraid, they live fully, and I think everyone should live like that. Because you never know when your time is come to live this life.

So LIVE your life TODAY! Don’t ignore death, but don’t be afraid of it either. Be afraid of a life you never lived because you were too afraid to take action. Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside you while you’re still alive. Be brave. Be courageous. Be scared to death, and then take the next step anyway. 

If you had only one days left in your live what would you do ?

Growth Mindset

The Dr.Carol Dweck published an very interesting and important article about a study she make around 373 middle school students.

She ask every student the same and unique simple question: Is intelligence something very basic that can't really change ?

The answer was divided into 2 group :

- The fixed mindset that said no it's cannot change.
- And The malleable mindset that said yes this can change and growth, she call them the Growth Mindset.

And she realize that the first categories the fixed mindset are more worried about looking smart than learning, they don't like to try news think because failing make them look stupid.

In the other case the malleable or the growth mindset are more interested in learning and love to try, event if they do mistake because they think of it as learning. And seem to think that the they next time they will do better and so on.

The Growth mindset was having some attribute that the fixed mindset was not having:
- Effort,
- Using strategies,
- And provided seeking.

Check the full article there:
http://alumni.stanford.edu/get/page/magazine/article/?article_id=32124
http://www.mindsetworks.com/webnav/dr-dweck-interviews.aspx

Generation of Robots in Lebanon

Lebanon like North-Korea, Japan or China have one of the best education systems in the world. Children learn in primary school 3 languages (Arabic, French, & English) and some event more with Spanish. We teach our kids that excellence it's to know everything by head and to speak it out-loud in class.

And if our kids don't get good grades we yell at them and put all our salary in private tutors. Some of our kids become so genius and are always succeeding in school. And the message this kids get it's that all is easy, everything will always be fine if they learn it by head.

And for some of those kids it's really super easy for them to get good grades like that. And theirs parents so proud of them give them money, gift and tell them to nothing in the house else than studying so they don't have any independence and some of them at the age of 20 years old still don't know how to cook eggs or event how to do a sandwich. And the trouble's is that they are going to reach a point in their life where it's not going to be easy, and they will get lost. 

I think those kids we're creating actually have like a sort of Fixed Mindset Syndrome. You can see there more informations about this syndrome: http://michaelgr.com/2007/04/15/fixed-mindset-vs-growth-mindset-which-one-are-you/

 

They don't get any part-time jobs, or anything type of jobs when they are studying and some of them never worked until they get their college or event master degree, but like Businessinsider said : ''A diploma it's just a door to the work forces and may the best man or woman win.'' So with their fixed-mindset they still think everything will be easy with their GPA they will get every jobs they want, but actually in the real life this is not the case so they will get the felling like a bomb was trough in their face when they will finally woke-up of their illusion. And that is a really dangerous thing, I think, to send our kids out into the world with this.

And the questions is how we help this kids ? And that a very difficult question to answer when you think of the pressure of college admissions for that perfect transcript, or this perfect student.

And yet unfortunately, the college admissions system, isn't actually looking for growth right now but for robots student. And that the big problems with this news generation of ROBOT STUDENT we are creating: ''why parents would tell their children to be lest like a robot and to learn for fun, when college and university are just looking for that perfect transcript ?'' So we have created this fragile troubleshoots people more likely to get depression in the future in their life when thing will not be easy for them.

At the end what we must think as a parent or a teacher did we provide to our kids and the new generation with this type of education what they need to survive in this world ?

The solution is to teach our children lest with the textbook but more about life and to parents to give their children the change of independence by so work in the summer or doing task for their money in the house washing the car for example or just washing dishes like in the picture.